Crush
by cobrafantasies
Summary: A plot twist to TOW the Engagement Picture. What happens when Rachel revisits an old attraction while trying to deal with her crush on her new assistant, Tag?
1. Reading in Between the Lines

**Author:** Jen

**Author's Note:** Second story, Please Read and Review, I always appreciate Comments, thanks! This story will be rated T for future chapters.

**Disclaimer: ** Unfortunately, I do not own anything or any of the characters.

**A/N: **Season 7, A twist to TOW the Engagement Picture.

* * *

Excerpt: TOW the Engagement Picture- Episode 7.05

**Rachel:** (entering) Hi!

**Joey:** Hey!

**Chandler:** Hey!

**Rachel:** So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.

**Joey:** Yeah! That guy's alright!

**Rachel:** Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.

**Joey:** What?

**Rachel:** Y'know, all the women.

**Joey:** Hey well, you can't teach someone to be good with women. Y'know, that's why I never had any luck with Chandler.

**Chandler:** (pause) I'm right here!

**Rachel:** All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and him and all these women, it's just - And I know he's my assistant and I can't date him- but it just bothers me, all right?

**Joey:** Hey! No-no-no, you can't take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!

**Chandler: **I'm still right here!

**Rachel:** All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!

**Joey:** (shocked) What?

**Rachel:** I just don't want him to meet anybody until I am over my crush- And I will get over it. It's- it's not like I love him, it's just physical! But- I mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean, hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!

**Joey:** I know, Monica told me.

* * *

_7 Year Ago ~_

A week to the day, the day I ran out on my wedding, that is. I can't believe I'm surviving at all. I'm living 100% on my own, they made me cut up my credit cards! I would call them mentally insane, but I know they're just trying to help. I even got a job, an actual job; at the coffee house, but it's something.

They all seem nice, Monica has always been. I know we haven't stayed in touch, but I still trust her. Her brother is nice too, Ross, he has always been "extra" friendly. A bit dorky, but kind. Then, there's Chandler who… well, might be gay, but hey he's nice too. Phoebe is… strange? I think I don't understand her yet, but she seems harmless. And, finally, Joey…he is exactly what you would expect by looking at him. A stud, player, the guy that will most definitely hit on you and he has, by the way. I'm not gonna lie, he is good looking, but what I found interesting is that I found out he has a soft side. Around his friends, he is actually sweet and considerate. It's quite endearing, but mostly surprising.

Recently, there has been a change, regarding Joey. He hit on me the first day he met me and would flirt with me almost whenever around me after that, but lately he just smiles or occasionally compliments me; no actual flirting anymore. Maybe he lost interest and is just being nice, but I swear there was an attraction once. Okay, the truth is I'm_ hoping _there's an attraction because I've discovered I kind of like him now; I want him to be interested. I've decided it's a small crush and I'm not going to act on it, but if he makes a move, I'm letting it happen. Hey, you never know, it could be meant to be. I can't alter with fate.

One day, I am walking up the stairs to my apartment when I hear Joey and Monica talking the hallway.

"I'm sorry, Joey, but I can't; I have work. Try asking someone else", Monica explained.

"I have", Joey said hopelessly. I continue up the last few steps as Monica greets me on her way out. There Joey is, standing alone, in the hallway. Of course, he is looking damn good today; again. I'm admiring his wavy, black hair and how his long-sleeved, gray shirt is collecting around his nice arms and complimenting figure. I almost don't notice when he looks up at me.

"Hey Joey", I quickly state.

"Hey Rachel", he gives me half a smile.

"What's…uh going on", I refer to the conversation I just partly overheard.

"I was trying to find someone to rehearse with me. I'm gonna be in another play", he told me.

"Oh wow, that's great".

"Thanks", he said and then look troubled. He looked around as if making sure no one was around and then added, "Hey, would you mind reading line with me?"

"Me? Oh I'm not an actress", I said, feeling my heart start to race, unexpectedly.

"You don't have to be, just reading the lines will help."

"Okay", my voice agreed without my consent. We walk into his apartment and I sit down on the couch next to him. My eyes don't move off him, until I realize he is handing me a script, identical to the one he has. I steady it in my hands as my mind runs through countless possibilities that I am imagining happening.

"Okay, you have the first line", he says looking at me intently. I stare back before forcing myself to view my script.

"Oh, okay…uh…'Why did you call me back here, Max?'" I read.

"'I needed to see you. I'm not living without you because without you, there is no life for me'" he reads his line. A bit corny, I thought to myself.

"'Max, I thought you understood, I can't be with you…not anymore'".

"'Renee stop, I don't care what any of them think. What if this is true love. Are you just gonna let this pass by?'"

He was getting into it and was, in fact, quite good. I was watching him, unaware he was waiting for me. He looked up.

"Rachel…" he reminds me in a soft voice, out of character, now.

"Oh right, sorry", I say, searching my script for my place. "' If I wanted this, then it would happen, if I wanted it, I would be thinking about you all the time and be wondering if you're doing the same. I'd be thinking of you every time I see a purple sky or hear a plane flying by. I would run up to you and kiss you, put my arms around you and never let you go'", I read the speech pretty plainly. I see below the speech, the script reads: [_Renee is chocked up and on the verge of tears_] I feel stupid for being so bad at this and wonder if Joey is thinking I am just pathetic, but I can't know as he moves on to the next line.

"'Well, I want this, I'm never _not_ thinking about you. And Renee…'" Joey paused after that. I look down at the script. It reads: [_he pulls her close and kisses her passionately_.]

"Uh, we can just skip that", he tells me shyly. I have a new feeling in my stomach and soon understand it is me wanting to kiss him.

"Well, I mean, I don't…mind", I say to him. He looks at me and seems nervous to speak.

"Oh, we really don't have to", he continues.

"Well, I just thought you wanted to practice. You know, get everything out of it", I add a playful tone to my voice to lighten the mood.

"Uh…we probably shouldn't. I don't really _need _to anyway", he flashes a fake smile, trying to get me to move on in the script. I give him a confused look. Oh no, what, is he disgusted with me? Does it bother him that much to kiss me, what is wrong with _me_?

"Why, am I really that bad?" I speak my mind. He looks regretfully at me.

"Oh no, no! I don't mean… I mean", he takes a second and then continues, "Rachel it's not that I don't want to, I … can't".

"Why?" I wonder aloud. He is hesitant to tell me at first.

"It's just…Monica", he finally says. I have another uncertain look on my face.

"She told me not to do anything with you because you're really vulnerable right now".

I take a sigh of relief and appear happy at his reasoning. I guess I appear too happy because he looks at me strange.

"Yeah…good thing?" he pretends to agree, still not understanding my joy completely.

"No, I'm just happy you aren't repulsed to kiss me", I chuckle.

"Oh, no…definitely not", he tells me sincerely. I smile at him. After a few more seconds I decide to try to change his mind.

"So, since I'm okay with it, want to_ really _rehearse?" I ask. He still seems unsure.

"I do, but…" He is trying to resist temptation. I figure I'll make it easy for him and begin to slowly lean in. Right before I'm about to meet his lips, he pulls back. I frown at him and wait for an explanation.

"I'm sorry, I…promised Monica", he softly states. I am disappointed, but respect his loyalties.

"Okay, let's move on to the next line", I say. I look down and we read on through the rest of the scene.

I can only think, one day I hope to have a friend as trustworthy as Joey.

A couple of weeks later, I am over my crush and we begin to become closer and closer as friends.

_End Flashback~_

_

* * *

_The memory streamed through my mind like a film strip playing back the past. I hadn't thought about my crush on Joey in years. It was ironic how I was jealous that all the friends were so close and were so loyal, now I am one of them. I do have a friend as trustworthy as Joey; it is Joey.

I was fascinated in that moment with how grateful I was to run out on my wedding and find these new people; that's something you don't hear everyday.

"Did you have a crush on me, when you met me?" I suddenly heard someone say. I look up and realize it was Chandler. I came back to reality and remember what we were talking about.

"Yeah, sure", I lie. Joey gives me a look and shakes his head no and I give him a small smile. I look at him and wonder why it was so easy to get over my attraction to him. As he gets older he seems to be getting better looking with age. I am studying his face when they begin to wonder what I'm doing.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Chandler asks me and walks up, next to Joey. I blink and then realize how weird my staring must have come across.

"What, yeah I'm fine".

They don't know what to say and are looking at me as if they are not sure if I am ill.

"You know what, forget what I said, I don't have to hang out with Tag anymore", Joey offers, to make me feel better.

"Really?" I say, more pleased that Joey is still so sweet rather than the fulfillment I would have felt a few moments ago when I was focused on Tag. Suddenly, Tag doesn't seem to interest me anymore. I am feeling confused and need time to think. I excuse myself and go to my room, leaving Joey and Chandler still puzzled.


	2. The Friend Zone

I get to work the next day, hoping Tag will erase all my confusion. I hope the second I see him, I'll be back in the same frustrated, hopeless crushing stage I was a day ago. I turn the corner to my office and see him sitting at his desk. I walk up to him.

"Morning Tag".

"Morning Rachel", he turns and smiles at me. Sure, great hair, great body, even great teeth. Almost the same, except not as nice smile. What, not as nice smile as who? Snap out of it Rachel!

"Is everything alright?" he questions my silent staring.

"Yes, yes, why is everyone thinking everything is not PERFECTLY fine!" I break from aggravation.

After hours of trying to figure out my complicated emotions I decide there is only one way to solve this dilemma. Tell him; maybe if I just admit what is going on, we will just laugh at how funny it actually all is and then it will just go away.

* * *

I arrive home late and Joey is sitting in the barcalounger, watching TV. I put my stuff done and then stand beside his chair.

"Hey, Joey, do you have a sec. to talk?"

"Yeah, sure", he worries if anything is wrong, instantly. He flicks off the TV and stands up. "What's up?" I hear concern in the back of his throat.

"No, it's nothing bad, I just wanted to tell you something…funny, actually", I say.

"Oh, okay, shoot", he says, but walks to the fridge for a soda. I walk to the island too. He waits for the story.

"So remember the other day, I mentioned when we first met?" I say. He nods, and I go on, "So it made me reminisce about it all and hey, remember that uh play and we read lines together?"

"Oh, yeah" he replies after thinking it over.

"It just made me think back and it seems strange to me that I liked you then, 'cause now we are so close. But it also made me wonder…why".

He doesn't get what I'm trying to say as his brow knit together.

"Why I stopped so easily, you know, liking you". I am starting to get embarrassed and feel my cheeks warming. Finally, something clicks in his head.

"Oh, you're trying to figure out how to get over your crush, on Tag", he resolves. I never thought that he might reason that, but I guess it save some humiliation…if I play along.

"Yeah…" I hesitate. If I don't tell him, these feelings might never go away.

"Except not because I think I'm over Tag", I confess. Now he is back to not understanding where I'm going with this.

* * *

So, basically the conversation could not have gone worse. I really wish some plane could have crashed into our apartment by accident, or some other horrendous situation could have happened, to save me from this horror. Somehow, after explaining that I think I might like him again, I am introduced to new feelings in my stomach and then further down below. Suddenly, I come out with a sentence, 'Maybe I just need to get it out of my system.' He is shocked at my words and I, unfortunately, persist to convince him to go to bed with me! I don't know what came over me, but it happened and he ended by rejecting me, probably as kindly as possible, and then residing to his room in utter distress.

I shut my bedroom door, believing I am permanently closing any foreseen opportunity. How could I have just done that? I put our friendship on the line. Well, truthfully how can he blame me? I mean with how I am feeling right now, he must know…he is a guy. No, he is not just some guy he is my roommate and one of my best friends! I fall back onto my bed. My body must be screaming with need by this point. I sit back up and stare at the wall, the wall that is threatening me from him. I would never have deemed this possible, that Joey, Joey my good, good friend could make me feel this way. I never thought I could want _him_ this badly. Just a few hours ago it was a minor crush, at most, but now it has tumbled into an unobtainable need for him that burns inside of me.

Of course, he would object. He said no because the same thought was running through his mind. The thought that told him 'This is your friend, Rachel; she must be off limits'. God, the one time he has to listen to his head. All those times of not thinking, wasted! I stand up and try to distract myself, but end up aimlessly wandering around my room. My mind, continuously returning to the same argument. Why, why does he have to feel like doing it with me is something morally wrong? Why do we have to be stuck in the friend zone? We are not only in the friend zone, but we are so far in we can't even see where we came in, we can't even remember the time when we both saw each other differently. When we were both sitting in this same apartment, not being able to ignore how close we were sitting on the couch, that day, and constantly trying to object to any desires stirring inside. When I made a move and he rejected me then because his friend told him to. Tonight, he rejected me all on his own because, now, _I_ am one of his friends. I understand this isn't his fault, I'm not mad at him, I am simply that frustrated…sexually.


	3. Dare to be Truthful

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone, thanks so much for the reviews. I am taking all your advice into consideration. So here is chapter three!

* * *

The next day, I didn't run into Joey all day. He had left before I got up and we never bumped paths for lunch or anything. I returned home, around dinner time, starved. He strolled in a few minutes later. I watched him remove his backpack and jacket.

"Hey", I said cautiously.

"Hey", he smiles. He seemed unfazed by any awkwardness and acted normal, which puts me back at ease.

"So, what do you want to do for dinner, I am starved", I was back to a friendly tone.

"Oh, actually I have a date tonight".

I froze as everything else stopped in my mind. I stared blankly at him, although, he took no notice.

What is wrong with me? I don't care that he has a date, I don't. No, this is bad…I am jealous that he can go out and get it whenever he wants. And here I am suffering. No, this isn't right, it was a good thing he rejected me; he should have said no. How can I seriously blame him for being a good friend and then continue on living his life?

"Rach?"

I blinked.

"Are you okay?" He asked

What, yeah I'm fine", I said. He didn't believe my answer so I tried to verify it more. "I was just trying to figure out what I'm going to do for dinner, since, now, I'm own my own tonight". My words struck me unexpectedly and I saw an effect on him too. His face turned compassionate.

"You know what, I can stay", he offered. For a second, I considered it. Part of me instantly wanted him to cancel his date. But that was strictly selfish on my part. Besides, it was most likely the hormones hoping something would happen if he was with me tonight. I chastised myself before answering.

"Joey", I shook my head, "No, you can't. Go on your date."

Regret showed through his dark, brown eyes.

"It's really not a big deal. I'm going to have a hundred dates, but I don't want you to feel like you're going to be alone. Not even for one night because, you have to know, you never will be". He passed on a comforting smile and I smiled back, touched by his words. I walked over to him and fell into his warm, comforting embrace.

* * *

Of course, I made him go on his date. He left with a slightly guilt-ridden face and I appreciated his sympathy. Unfortunately, I felt lonelier than ever that night. A few hours into the evening, I had just settled in for a movie. I was curled up in the recliner when I heard the doorknob turn. I swiftly turned around in the chair, surprised to find Joey entering.

"Joey, what happened?" I inquired.

"It just…didn't work out", he responded. "Besides, I figured it would be more fun to watch a movie with you". He grabbed a drink from the fridge. I studied his face closely.

"Joey, why did you come home?"

"I just told you", he corrected me. I stared him down until he uncomfortably lowered his drink back down on the counter.

"You came home because of me, didn't you?" A flash of anger crossed my face. "Joey, I told you not to worry about me! Now I feel guilty that I ruined your night!"

He was taken aback by my outburst.

"No, Rachel, I didn't", his voice was not believable at all.

"You have to stop this, just live your life. We don't have to worry about each other. We have our own lives and so I don't need you come back for your poor, old friend!" I yelled. Now his expression changed to mad as well.

"Okay, fine! I won't think about you then. We can just stick to our own business and not get in each other's way. I'm sorry, I _thought_ I was being a good friend!" he came back, angrily. He began to depart to his room when my heart dropped.

"Joey, wait", I sighed. He stopped, but refused to turn back around. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I just…"

"Look Rach, I get it. You don't want me involved in your personal relationships. I can keep out of them", He stated, turning around.

"No, I said I didn't-"

"Rachel, I heard what you said, I apologized okay, what else do you _want _?" He interrupted me, still in a loud voice.

"Hey look, I just don't want you to be mad at me. _You_ are the one who left your date. _I_ wouldn't leave an opportunity, especially after being rejected", I said, without thinking. He looked stunned at me.

"Are you mad at me, for saying no? What did you want me to do Rachel? Just jump into bed with you?"

"No…I…" I tried to fix my mistake, but it was too late.

"What do you think of me Rachel? That I'm someone who would just betray one of their best friends and then go bang his ex girlfriend!"

"Wait, Ross, that's what this is about?"

"Why did you even ask me? Couldn't you go out and find some other guy to bring home?"

"Hey, don't judge me. You can go out any time and get as much action as you want. Not everyone is that lucky, you know-"

"Oh, come on Rachel like _you_ have trouble with the opposite sex?"

"Well, there's certainly _one_ man I couldn't convince. You know some men are just so stupid. They don't even realize what is happening right in front of them or what signs they are _supposed_ to be picking up on!" I complained.

Again, he was in disbelief at my responses.

"Signs, what are you even talking about!"

"Yes, okay did you ever think I wasn't just asking you, the other day, for some action, but maybe I – I really do LIKE YOU? Have you ever even thought I wasn't trying to manipulate you to 'betray' your best friend; who, by the way, I haven't even been with in YEARS!" I shouted at him.

"Well, maybe I like you too, but could never do THAT!"

I froze and silence enclosed around us.

I spoke in a near whisper now, worn out from yelling. "What do you mean; do _that_… _be_ with me?"

He was nervously clenching his fists together while deciding what to say.

"You… like me?" He asked quietly as well.

"I think so", I admitted. "I tried to tell you the other day, but…" I looked down at the floor still ashamed of what happened yesterday.

"Well, then maybe we've… _both_ been a little stupid. How about we stop wasting time beating around the bush?" He suggested.

"Okay, I do, I realized I like you because I got over Tag and couldn't get you out of my mind. I wanted to tell you, but I got wrapped up in my feelings and took a more …drastic approach, you know, with the other night." I started.

"Well, why don't we start all over okay?" He says and then continues like the entire fight just didn't happen. "So, Rachel, I have been meaning to tell you something. The other night, when you asked me… you know… I said no because I didn't think I could, but now I realize I like you and I…" He didn't finish, feeling uncomfortable at admitting all this.

"I'd like to give us a try too", I help him out.

"This is all just so unexpected", he jokes in a foolish voice. I laugh and take steps closer to him. He probably thinks I'm about to come for a hug.

"Well, sometimes, unexpected is the best-" I stop mid-sentence to kiss him. I put my lips lightly on his. I pull away, "way", I finish. He smiles at me and then leans in to place his lips back on mine. His lips are so easily enjoyable, soft and inviting, I wonder how I hadn't even imagined kissing him before; well for seven years. He is apparently enjoying himself too as he soon he gets creative by opening his mouth slightly and then begins kissing my bottom lip and top lip separately. Until, he compellingly kisses both my lips again. This move makes my toes tingle and the feeling of his hands exploring my hair and traveling down my back is causing the sensation to travel up and spread throughout my body. I swear he's going to give into my request from the other night and soon lead me to his bedroom, but he spontaneously pulls back and looks at me with excitement.

"Hey, why don't we go on a date?"

I am surprised by, not only his will power, but the fact that he seems more eager to take me out to a nice place rather than to go any further with me right now. I figure the wait will be well worth it and we agree tomorrow we will have our first date.


	4. Signs

The worst news has come to me. It's lunchtime, the day of my first date with Joey. My boss is in town this week and informs me I have to work late today. I try to get out of it, use every excuse in the book, but nothing budges. I have to work until nine tonight! That is way too late and now its messes up our dinner plans. I feel horrible and absolutely dread having to dial Joey's number to break the news.

Somehow he is actually okay with it. I apologize incessantly, but he tells me over and over again to stop and not worry about it.

"I'll see you at nine", is what he leaves me with before he hangs up the phone.

I get back to the apartment as quickly as possible and rush in to find Joey's back facing me. He standing at the island, but turns when he hears me come in. He is holding a beer bottle that is practically empty.

"Hey, welcome home", he says and takes a step forward to give me a small peck on the cheek. His kiss warms my cheek and I feel even worse with how wonderful he is being.

"Joey, really you must be at least a little mad", I say and walk around to the other side of the island to face him. I put my bag down, off to the side.

"Rachel, look I know it's not your fault and I could never be mad at you even if it was", he reassures me. I still give him a look of repent even thought I love the things he is saying. "And anyway, who says we still can't have a great night- right here", he encourages. He takes the last sip of his beer and then holds it up.

"Did you want a beer?" he asks. I shake my head.

"No thanks", I say.

"Well, hey…" he begins and then puts the bottle on the counter. He leaves it on its side instead of standing up and then lightly spins it, with just enough force so the top of the bottle will land directly towards me. "I guess I have to kiss you now." He showcases a juvenile grin and I can't help but beam back and try not to reveal a girlish giggle. He places his hands on the counter top and then leans over to plant a juicy smooth on me. It's a quick kiss, but I realize the counter in between us is putting him in an awkward position. I'm surely going to give him another chance. I put my hand on top of the bottle.

"You know, if it lands on the same people twice, you have to use tongue the second time." I play. I turn the bottle while I walk around the island to his side. When I am inches in front of him the bottle is faced right at him and I bring my hand back down to my side. He smiles and quickly licks his lips. The sight brings wondrous expectations to my mind and I am gleefully anticipating his next move.

He presses his body to mine, holding my arms. Then he leans in and kisses me with a forceful kiss. When he lightens the kiss he opens his mouth and then waits for me. I slowly part my lips and his tongue slides into my mouth. The feeling is slick heat that is suddenly shooting through me. His tongue is exploring my mouth and the sensations are becoming more intense. We are both starting to delve into the kiss more passionately. I move my hands to his hair and play through the soft strands as he moves one hand to my back and the other to my lower hip. After that, he starts to suck on my lower lip and his hand on my hip is carefully traveling slightly down my thigh and then back up again. Now my skin is burning and I am unintentionally grabbing at his hair and neck. My hands are falling from his neck and roaming over his chest, searching for the buttons to his shirt. I unbutton the first one I can find before he is gently biting my lip and I let out an inaudible gasp from the feeling.

The door is now opening and we hear it and break apart as quickly as we were progressing. The blood running all over my body immediately stops and I feel flushed. We are both completely flustered. Joey turns away and rapidly buttons the few buttons undone and smoothes out the wrinkles in his shirt as we see Ross saunter in.

"Hey guys", he casually greets us.

"Hey", we both virtually mutter. I am irritated we had to be interrupted and so my next question comes out partly annoyed sounding.

"Why are you here Ross?"

Joey and Ross both don't expect this and Ross is the most confused.

"I'm… here because you won't believe what I just found out." He explains cautiously because of my reaction.

"What?" I pretend to be interested.

"People are…are _doing it_ in front of my BOOK!" He exclaims. Joey looks at him with a crooked smile.

"Really?" He holds back a laugh and Ross glares at him.

"Guys this isn't funny", he says as he spots me smirking at Joey.

"Actually, it kind of is", Joey argues.

"No, that library should have better security!" He disputes and then storms out the door. Joey chuckles softly, as I turn serious. He observes my face.

"What- What's wrong?" He questions me. I sigh, a disappointed sigh.

"What if these are all signs?"

"What?"

"Well, look at the facts, we liked each other when we first met, but weren't allowed to be together. We decide we want to give it a try, but have terrible communication. Then, our first date gets canceled and next Ross, of all people, barges in on us; right as we are making out!" I point out. He looks saddened at these indications.

"They could just be… coincidences." He attempts.

"I don't know, what if this is all a bad idea", I project my concern.

"Hey, Rach, come on I want to be with you and I thought you wanted that too?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Okay, how about this, we wait for more signs", he proposes.

"What do you mean?"

"We won't do anything else, unless we get a good sign."

"Okay, that sounds good", I agree. He smiles and then looks up at the ceiling.

"And I haven't asked for much", he kids around. I snicker and then playfully hit his arm.

"Okay then, goodnight, I guess", he concludes. I walk forward to give him a little kiss goodnight, but he backs away.

"Hey, we said we wouldn't do anything; that means no kissing", he protests. I put out my lip and demonstrate puppy dog eyes to emphasize how sad he is making me. He gives me a look that says 'Don't do that to me, that's not fair'. So, to save himself, he takes my hand in his. He caresses it lovingly and the lowers his head and kisses my hand tenderly.

"Goodnight", he says firmly. "You better be good", he teases me.

I am left with a smile overcoming my face as he walks into his bedroom for the night.


	5. One Word

So, it's been… two days. I'm sitting at work and it's the third day, the third day. I sigh as I lazily sit at my desk. This isn't fun, these signs, I hate this. We are not getting any bad signs, but we are not receiving any good ones either. So, basically, we're trapped; well that's how I feel now. I see him everyday and it feels like I never even told him I liked him, like we didn't just make out two nights ago. We are just friends again, except we talk less and rarely ever touch at all. Probably so we don't lose control because, at least for me, I'm suffering every time I'm with him. The worst is when we are with our friends because then I think, 'Oh we can't do anything in front of them' but then I remember we couldn't do anything anyway!

What also doesn't help is that Joey is not any more subtle than I am. Sometimes he will just be staring at me or look me up and down. That's even worse because I wish it could lead to more, I wish I could do the same. _I _have to stop myself from watching him too long and definitely looking him up and down because if I do, I'm dying to give up and force him to my room. Sometimes, I think I'll just wait 'till he caves, but even through his apparent struggle, he manages and doesn't really seem like he's going to break. I guess I am happy he is being faithful to our decision and to me, techniqully.

Doreen, from the third floor, suddenly rushes in.

"Ms. Green, we can't find it!"

"What?" I jump at her frantic entrance.

"The- the file, for the presentation today!" I search through the piles of papers strewn on my desk.

"No, I brought it in today… it should be right here…" I open every drawer and then re-check the folders on my desk. It's no where to be found, I think back and replay every move I made this morning; before leaving. I freeze when I realize what happened, I forgot it sitting on my bed! Doreen immediately gets the hint. She begins freaking out all over again.

"Okay, calm down, calm- DOREEN!" I command and she stops, still breathing enormous breaths. I consider running back home when I glance at the clock. Joey mentioned he was going home for lunch today.

"My roommate should be home, I'll just call him and ask him to bring it", I resolve. Doreen excuses herself and goes to the bathroom to calm down, as I dial the number.

Fifteen minutes later, Doreen is not back yet, but Joey walks in with the file.

"Joey, thank you!" I greet him by throwing my arms around him. I'm guessing this is exactly why we have been keeping our distance lately. I squeeze my arms tighter as I take in his scent and the whole feeling of being this close again. I swear I'm either floating or falling since I can't feel my legs anymore. His hand is comfortably stroking my back.

Then, Doreen returns.

"Does he have the file?"

We part from our hug and Joey turns to see who it is.

"Yes, it's right here", I assure her and take the folder from his hands.

"Oh, okay good, good", Doreen breathes, putting a hand to her chest. Then, there are a few awkward seconds until Doreen gives me a certain look.

"Oh, uh, Doreen this is Joey; Joey this is Doreen", I introduce them.

"Hi", they both exchange, along with a handshake.

"Okay, well, I'll just get out of your way. Good luck today", Joey says. I am not sure if I should hug him goodbye or what.

"Yeah, thanks again", I respond while still debating. He turns and puts his arm around me and we settle for a casual 'half' hug as he states 'bye' softly by my ear. I smile as he leaves, waving goodbye to Doreen on his way out.

"So…that's your roommate?" Doreen asks.

"Yes", I respond.

"Anything…going on?" she raises her eyebrows suggestively.

"No…we're just friends, why?" I speak in a surprised tone as no one has ever really asked that, even when we were just friends.

"I don't know, you just look…cute together", she shrugs. I try to hide my joy at her words, but she clearly finds my reaction odd and simply walks out without saying any more.

* * *

All I can say, is maybe Doreen should have talked a little more in today's presentation and she is _not _good under pressure, if that's not already obvious. I just wasn't focused and it was a pretty sloppy performance. Usually, I would be angry with myself and concerned, but I couldn't care about that now. I was rushing home as fast as I could. I have been waiting all day for six o'clock to come and finally I am nearly sprinting my way back to the apartment.

I stumble up to our door and take a breather to try to get myself looking normal again. I walk in and don't see Joey until I realize the shower is running. I figure I have to wait and then decide I can't. I open the bathroom door and head in the steam filled room.

"Joey?" I watch the curtain.

"Rachel?" he says and turns off the water. He pokes his hand out of the curtain, reaches his arm out, grabs his towel and wraps it around his waist before stepping out of the shower. I stare at his glistening skin and smooth chest. I look down at the towel figuring, _now_, I could be allowed to rip it off, but decide I don't want to act too drastically.

"I'm glad you're out I have great news I need to tell you". I direct my eyes back up to his face.

"Oh, okay, let me just get dressed", he states and starts to head to his room. Right after he steps out of the bathroom I grad his arm. It's damp and warm to the touch from the shower. I can feel the form of his muscles under my hand and soon my skin is radiating heat higher than his.

"But it's really important".

"Rach… can't I just…" he points to his room, but I take hold of his hand and lead him to the couch. He is evidently puzzled at my actions, but, at the same time, his resistance is getting considerably weaker every time I pursue. I direct him to the couch. I sit down and have a half naked Joey sit down beside me. With all the times merely being in the same room affects me, seeing so much of his gorgeous looking skin is beginning to truly take a dangerous toll.

"No, because I hurried all the way home just to tell you this and it can't wait."

"What is it?" He is very curious now, he leans over slightly as if he can't miss a single word I'm about to say.

"I got a… good sign", I communicate my anticipation for his response.

"Really?" His eyes widen. I nod my head and bite the inside of my lip. He seems to be contemplating how to approach this. His mouth opens and then closes as his eyes narrow and then looks down; really thinking. Just when I'm about to say something or make the move myself, his eyes burn into mine.

"So, this means we can… do stuff now", he smirks. I am about to answer, but his hand outlines my cheek and then his lips are on mine. The smell of his shampoo and water wet hair is mixing in my senses as I enjoy the sweet feel of his lips against mine. I put my hand in his damp hair before I move it to his heated skin. I run my hand down his back, as far as I can reach from our position, and experience the touch of his soft skin. Feeling so much more of his body, than I ever had before, makes me long for him so badly now.

But before we can begin to go any further we hear somebody in the hall and the doorknob starts to turn. We split apart and distance ourselves on the couch. Monica and Chandler walk in, of course. They are looking at us funny, wondering what in the world we are doing; the two of us sitting on the couch, with Joey in only a towel. I know they are about the question us at any moment now, so I scramble to find some justification in my mind.

"So, that's it Joey, we are not have naked- any days. Just go change!" I pretend. Joey doesn't even linger to play along and instead hastily gets up and proceeds to his room. Monica and Chandler are still confused.

"What was that about?" Monica asks.

"Nothing, just Joey being Joey, what's up?" I appear calm, but in reality, I am so nervous just walking over to them.

"Monica and I want to know if you guys want to see a movie with us", Chandler answers.

"Oh, you know what I would, but I'm pretty busy tonight", I say.

"Explaining to Joey you won't be walking around naked?" Chandler jokes and Monica shakes her head at him.

"No", I comically glare at him. "I have some work I need to catch up on; a presentation didn't go so well today." Monica looked worried at me, but before she could elaborate on my problem Joey walked out of his room, now dressed.

"Hey Joe, I'm happy to see you with some clothes on", Chandler converses. Joey gives him a kidding look.

"Yeah, well, I guess not everyone is so big on naked Thursdays, but you have to try. I figured I'd shoot for a 'fun' Friday", he smiles to make it convincing. Chandler grins at him.

"How do you put up with him", Monica rolls her eyes.

"He's fine… when he keep his clothes on", I say. I was actually smiling at the irony of what I was saying, but they didn't catch on. Joey stole a glance at me before Monica asked him.

"Okay, well, now that you're dressed, want to come to the movies with us, Joey? Rachel can't come." He looks at me although he knew his reply right away.

"Actually, I was gonna go out to do some food shopping. I promised Rachel I would and I _will_ get some healthy stuff too", he adds this point directly at me as if we actually had this chat.

"Okay whatever", Chandler says and he and Monica finally walk out. We watch the door shut behind them and look at each other. Finally, alone again, except at what cost?

"Was that a… bad sign?" He hopes I'll say no.

"Well, what else could we call that?"

"Our friends just wanting to spend time with us?"

I look at him hopelessly. "Joey…"

"No, they are gone now and are gonna be at the movies for a couple of hours."

"What about Ross or Phoebe or what if a… burglar breaks in!"

He gives me a weird look.

"Come on, you really think the world is going to go that overboard to stop us?"

"Well, we haven't had much luck so far", I say.

"Rachel-"

"You know what I'll be in my room okay". I leave a disappointed Joey in the living room.

* * *

An hour later, Joey knocks on my door.

"Hey, Rach can you come out here?" I sigh at this likely attempt to start again. Of course, it's too hard to say no to him and I step outside. He is standing in the middle of the room, waiting.

"Rach, I was just wondering if I could have your opinion on something."

"What?"

"A script I got offered to audition for. It's just that its starts out with this really romantic scene and I wouldn't know how to play that", he tells me. I believe he is being serious since I can't see how this could change anything.

"Sure you can", I encourage him.

"Well, can you give me some advice anyway?" I try to read his face or wait for a smile, but he continues to bury any sarcasm.

"Okay, what is the scene?"

He walks to the counter and picks up a small packet of paper, but holds it away from my view.

"The script first describes the setting when the scene starts", he informs me. He reads the script. "The lights are dimmed, the door is locked, and the phones if off the hook." He looks at me and then puts the script face down on the counter. "I guess we better set the mood".

"Joey-" I try to stop him. He moves to the door and switches the lock, turns off the phone and then shuts the lights. We don't have a dimmer so it's basically pitched black. Then I hear shuffling around until a candle brightens the room. Soon another one and a couple more are lit by Joey.

"Joey, I don-" I begin, but he picks up the script and continues.

"There is a man and a woman alone in the room. They are standing close and looking right in each other eyes." He pauses and walks over, takes my hand, and leads me closer to the kitchen. He stops a few inches away from me.

"The man takes the woman's hand in his", he reads again and does as it says. "Then he has the first line; 'I don't care anymore, I only care about what I feel for you and what I know you feel for me. I'm going to prove to you that we are the only two people who can decide what's meant to be, for us. Don't you want to see what happens; don't you need to at least give it everything you can think of?" He looks at me and I'm wishing I never walked out of my room and drove myself right into this trap. I know I'll cave if we continue. Then, he steers me away form my thinking.

"Rachel, it's your line", he whispers. I freeze and my mind is wondering if this isn't a trap at all. Does he really have a play he needs help with? Is he really reading from a script or am I just thinking crazy?

I look into his eyes and realize how serene he looks in candlelight. Of course, I want this; I don't want to have to care what he is doing. I don't want it to matter whether the paper in his hand is real or not because _he_ is and I know that he is what I want. Why can't I just have this, why can't I just enjoy this romantic scene that I am actually standing in? I don't know what else to do except attempt to borrow his script for my 'line' seeing that he never gave me one. I pull on the packet in his hands and look over to see what I'm supposed to say. His hand lets mine go and he gives up any struggle at my pulling on the paper, he lets me see what it is. I find a blank paper, I take the packet from his hand and skims through the pages; pages of all blank papers. I sigh and look up at him, questioning why things should be any different this time with my eyes. He takes a folded up paper out of his pocket and hands it to me. I open it and the one word written on the paper is 'yes'. I smile as I realize how adorable and funny this entire scenario is. I look back up to find him hopelessly smiling back at me.

"Just say yes", he whispers. My smile widens. Then something opens in me and I suddenly recognize how simple he has made it for me. All I have to do is say yes and we can have this night together, all to ourselves. Just me and him, exploring this relationship, exploring each other, exploring his bed; I present a full blown smile now.

"Yes".

I can see the blissful delight in his eyes when I say it and I am overcome with merriment as well.

His kisses cause me to drop the packet of papers to the floor, not even aware of my surroundings anymore. He is kissing me with a fiery passion that instantly sends a distinct message to my most sensitive area. He starts pushing me back, towards his bedroom and I can't believe it's really going to happen this time.

His lips are traveling down below my ear and onto my neck. My fingertips enclose around the shirt on his back. He moves back up to my lips as he reaches behind me to open the door to his room. He swings it shut behind him and then his hands are trailing up, under my shirt, and he lifts it up above my head. He kisses down my neck again and continues to my chest, around the rims of my bra and then to my stomach. He trails back up again but then stops, I think to double check with me one more time. I don't waste any time though and take the ends of his shirt and pull it over his head. I stare as the same skin and chest I was feeling a few hours ago. And now its all mine and the rest of him too I remember as I move to his belt and start unbuckling.

He pushes me to his bed and I fall onto it. He straddles me and my heart is about to explode out of my chest. I am so ready for this; I am unsure where to begin. He is kissing me or running his tongue over my scorching skin and I am writhing under him. I feel for his belt again and tug it off before I unbutton his pants and attempt to push them down. He helps me out and removes them, leaving him in only his boxers. Before I know it the rest of our clothing is thrown about the room and we admire each others naked bodies before continuing.

When, it happens, I am overwhelmed by the feeling. He waits and then starts to move, encountering every inch of my skin with his fingers at the same time. Now he picks up the speed and it's way more intense. I am falling over the edge. Soon, I have no idea where his fingers are as a burst of pleasure is streaming through me. An accompanied moan releases from him and he withdraws and falls next to me, both our chests pounding with piercing breaths. I am working on getting myself under control as he turns over on his side to face me. His breathing is still heavy, but has slowed down and he is more composed than I am. He smiles at me and then lovingly pushes a strand of hair away from my face. My breaths become still as he is caressing my face. I am so content just sitting here with him.

"Joey", I say gently.

"Hmm?" He seems at ease tracing my face with his fingers. The next thing I say I don't even plan, I couldn't even tell you I was about to say them.

"I love you".

The words were as much of a shock to me as they were to him, but as I lay there next to him I understand I mean them completely.

His fingers come to a halt and he's staring into my eyes. I wait for him and try to read his face for any clues when he takes a few seconds.

"I love you too", he finally says. I smile uncontrollably and he smiles back before kissing me tenderly, to prove it true.

* * *

The End

I hope you enjoyed it, thanks to everyone for reading and for the reviews!


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